Meet Jackie #Survivor
On 11/17/1980 a little girl by the name Of Jackeline was born, what that little girl did not know was that she was already a part of a domestic violence life... When my mom had me my father was married to another woman. My father’s wife was pregnant at the same time as my mom. The relation that I had with my father’s side of the family was not a typical relationship. I could only speak to them when my father wife or her kids were not around because if I were to make a mistake and said hello I would have been ignored. So by the age of 7 I knew how to play my position. When I was 10 I asked my mom if it was legal to marry my dad when I get older because I knew I wanted a relationship with him. In my mind I felt like maybe just maybe if I were to marry him I could talk to him without being in the dark or watching over my back for his family.
By the age of 18 I moved in with my first boyfriend and that is when the domestic violence started for me. I had no conception of what a man should be to a woman, so I let him do what I thought a man was supposed to do to a woman. I had no self-esteem. I did not think I was pretty enough to go look for a job that's how low my self-esteem was. He use to hit me so hard that both of my eyes would be black. I landed in the hospital many times. He had a gun pointed at me in one occasion just because he was mad. It was a really crazy experience that I wouldn’t on anyone. I remember going to sleep crying myself to sleep asking God please give me wings so that I can leave this relationship. It was not so much that I did not have the funds or the support to leave the relationship, but it was more that this man had me believing that I was nothing. I felt at that time that his words had power over me.
In conclusion the reason why I decided to share my story was so that you can have a better understanding about me. You see I never had that person that showed me how to put myself first. I always had to be second and my feelings were always hurt. For another person to treat me bad was just the norm for me because my dad did it to me. The way I overcame my abusive relationship was that I had friends that actually believed in me while some others just criticized me or just put me down. Some of my friends would tell me the good things they see in me, take me out or sometimes just listen to me without speaking. One thing about the person that is being abused is that they will always remember who was by their side at time they needed support the most, and the way that person made them feel.
I say this because a lot of time people that are going through domestic violence does not need another person to judge them or to criticize them, in many cases what they need is someone to show them a different lifestyle, maybe “hey girl lets go and get our nails done lets go and watch a movie” before you know that person will leave that abusive relationship. However, if you approach them negatively or like, “how can you stay with that man”, in a way you will be doing the same thing that the abuser is doing “verbal abuse”.
If you or any one you know are experiencing any Domestic Violence please get HELP. Call 911 the national domestic violence hotline is 1800-799-7233